Why are some very smart people so quiet?

I know a few really smart people who are just bad at things like small talk and starting conversations. Get them talking about a subject they know and they can go on for a good while, and make really smart points about them, but have a group of people just sort of chatting about bullshit and they won't contribute much.
I recall having lunch with Freeman Dyson. After lunch, I thought about it. Dyson had been very quiet, except when asking a few key penetrating questions. I had been flattered that he had been interested in my answers, and I had talked on and on and on. 

Dyson seemed to have enjoyed the lunch, and he seemed eager to sit down with me at subsequent opportunities, but I realized, although he may have learned a few things from me, I had learned almost nothing from him. I almost felt tricked. In fact, he was just practicing something he had developed over the years: the skill of listening.

So I really did learn something important from that lunch when he was so quiet. I had lunch with him again the next day, and I managed to keep my mouth relatively shut, and to concentrate on asking probing questions. I was able to draw him out and learn a lot about his incisive views of physics, math, and the world.

The art of listening, listening deeply enough with concentration and with alertness, active listening that enables you to ask the relevant questions in real time (rather than to think of them afterwards), that kind of listening is a skill that I first observed when Freeman Dyson applied it to me.

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